We made it to one year and pissing off my wife

Typically, I piss my wife off once a week. Nothing new there but I thought that it would be a while after our first wedding anniversary before I pissed her off again. Nope. It took just 3 days.

We’d been looking forward to this weekend for a long time. We had foregone a massive honeymoon after our wedding due to work and the proximity to Christmas so we thought that we would go all out for this particular occasion.

We booked a package through Sydney Seaplanes that would fly us to a resort for a night, dinner and breakfast included and then back to Sydney where we would have a night at the Four Seasons. Sounded awesome, sounded expensive but it was totally worth it. (Also check my friend’s reviews on best foldable picnic table, which can be used for dinner, picnic and coffee for big family). 

In addition to all of that, we squeezed in time to get tattooed, see Cirque Du Soleil and visit China Town for possibly the best chinese food of our lives.

None of that pissed my wife off, not the constant videoing of what we were doing with my new Sony actioncam, not my complaining of lack of Wi-Fi in the hotel room, no. It was something else.

I want the new iPhone 6 Plus.

Christine recently got sent the offer from her phone provider and having utilised my upgrade for her, I jumped at the opportunity. My impatience and constant checking which resulted in me ordered her the wrong phone plan pushed her over the edge.

Well done James, you’ve pissed her off again.

Moral of the story, don’t assume you know what your wife wants because she doesn’t want that one. Apparently, I’m a pro at pissing off my wife.

How did you get those bruises?

“I don’t know how I got this one!”

I think it’s time I put a stop to watching Arrow.

My wife is constantly covered in bruises and she claims she doesn’t know how it happens. I think she’s out on the mean streets of Canberra fighting crime. But a more likely story is that she’s just clumsy.

Normally when she starts acting ditzy, she’s pregnant but lucky this time she isn’t. I don’t think I could handle having 4 daughters in this house!

It’s a fun game really, “Where’d ya get that bruise?”

christine bruises

Because I care for my wife, I googled “how can I stop being so clumsy” in the hope that I can put an end to this madness.

Yahoo answers (like always) provided an ‘interesting’ answer. According to “Paul”, my wife could be clumsy because she can not see well. Paul, you might be on to something there mate because she struggles to see at night.

Now don’t go thinking, “James is so mean, he’s picking on his wife”, she told me to write about her bruises! Maybe she wanted me to write a post about her being clumsy to throw the police off her crime fighting vigilante scent.

I’m on to you Mrs Tew.

Either way, maybe it is time I start accepting the fact she might be making a few compensation claims against our insurance some time in the future.

 

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